Everything happens for a reason...

Last evening… something prompted my mind to whisper these words to me. “Everything happens for a reason…”.

The wary side of me immediately snorted. And I could feel the response “Yeah right…” hovering on my tongue. It seemed to laugh and say that saying all happens for a reason is just one way in which we condition ourselves, force ourselves to believe that, this happened for a good reason.

But I was in a mood for some well… rational thinking. So the world wary side had to take a back seat while the almost unused sensible side of my mind took over.

The mind went back to some of the most difficult times of my life when life seemed downright cruel and unfair. It’s been years in some cases… when I had uttered exasperated sentences like “This is just not done…” or “I can’t believe this is happening to me…” or in terminally crappy situations… “I am a good person… and I don’t deserve this!” or “Why do I need to fight for something that is so rightfully mine…”

Looking back today… I believe I have answers to some of these questions. With some others I am still waiting. But what was heartening to know was that in almost all the cases… surprisingly enough I could actually quite happily say… Yes… it happened because something better was in store.

Does that mean my current dilemma will have a happy ending. I don’t know… only time can tell. But for now experience tells me that yes… there is a reason why it is happening… a reason I may not be able to comprehend right away or a reason I may never be able to comprehend… but reason all the same.

I spent about half an hour randomly posing this question to a bunch of friends… and they all came back with quite quick answers… almost all in the affirmative. A few interesting answers that came my way…

A: Well i dont know... i dont think there is a well laid plan but i think i am happy with whta ever has happened till now, nothing i plan ever happens, but i like what happens eventually

B: Yes, could be tht or could just be that im conditioned to believe in it, so i SEE things thru tht filter. i see things in the past and how they worked out and say, 'aah it all happd for a reason'. becasuse someone already PUT that perspective in my head. else i could possibly be thinking, 'saala kyun aisa ho gaya?'

C: even if doesn’t, we find a reason, for the occurrence

D: No… im quite unfatalistic in my outlook

E: more or less, i do believe in that seems like it has quite some worth attached to it. I think whatevr i lost/left/gone away from me..simple things even...happen for a reason i always end up feeling so...coz theres a replacement in some time

F: YESSSS. thats the line i live my life on. even when a situation looks grim and almost hopeless… and unfair… even then.......then i pray i see the logic SOOOON, i go mad trying to figure it out and when i dont see it i am exasperated.........but the answer comes! smtms years later

This post didn’t have a purpose. It doesn’t have an inference. It’s one of those days when random thoughts lead to interesting discussions… and you get to spend an (otherwise sleepy/cold) afternoon in what I hope was a productive way!

A Special heartfelt thanks to all those who found time to answer this otherwise meaningless question!

Devil Wears Prada

Watched “Devil Wears Prada” for the a 100th time today (not exaggerating), and the movie strikes a chord every time. I don’t mean, the lovely dresses and the underweight models or Meryl Streep's attitude… but certain aspects of the movie almost always strike a chord! This time, it was this dialog that struck a chord…

The dialog:
Andrea: Sorry, it’s a busy day… my personal life is hanging by a thread. That’s all.
Nigel: Join the club. That’s what happens when you start doing well at work. I mean when your whole life goes up in smoke… that means it’s time for a promotion.

The dialog is pretty self explanatory. However, what is ironic is that we walk into such situations with our own two feet… steady feet. First it’s all about the new job… a job which we love. At times we love it for the money, at others for the work and on rare occasions for both.

The first time we have a late night; it gives a weird kind of kick… to be a part of the big bad corporate world. Finally you are a part of the "in" crowd that used to brag about crazy work hours and dying at work. But of course, the newness wears off and slowly, the one off late nights turn into a routine and soon you end up in a place where on a miraculous Thursday when you actually manage to leave work at 8 in the evening, a colleague snorts… “Half day today??”

The late nights convert themselves into working weekends and the next thing you know you are missing out of friend’s birthdays, parent’s anniversaries, a cousins promotion party, a date that was decided a month ago, until you are left with nothing but a life (if you can call it that) that starts and ends at work. The questions like “How’s life?” start irritating you because, where is life?? A decent bank balance, a good place to live (if you get enough time to appreciate it that is), a catalogue of a beautiful holiday in the Andaman’s (your parents/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend left behind with the hope that you may be tempted) lying on the coffee table under a huge layer of dust… you glance at it ruefully when you get back from work, shake your head and move on!

The little sadist in me wants to end it there. It’s a painfully gloomy picture as it is… why extend the misery? But then, the bigger sadist in me wants to remind you that there is just no way out of this situation. Sometimes we do it because we want to, at others we do it because we don’t have a choice. Well… choice… that’s a tricky word. And writing about that is not within the scope of this post. But just a parting dialog from the same movie… about choice…

Andrea: That was different. I didn’t have a choice.
Miranda: Oh no! You chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life… those choices are necessary.
Andrea: But what if this isn’t what I want. What if I don’t want to live the way you live?
Miranda: Don’t be ridiculous. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.

It’s a different issue that the protagonist walks away throwing her cell phone into a pond, when she sees her boss trying to reach her! I was wrong. It is about choice!

I resolve to... break every resolution I can!

2007 rocked… literally... and it doesn’t look like the party is over yet! But then comes a sobering thought! Came across my diary of last year and was in splits minutes after I started reading it. I was of course going through my new year’s resolutions and was laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that I managed to keep just a handful of them (that’s if I am lying and none if I am honest!)

Every year I decide I will not make any resolution… but the sadist in me loves to make them because it’s a lot of fun to see them break!

In 2008 I resolve to:

• Exercise – it’s been 12 days and I haven’t managed it yet.
• Clean my closet regularly and not wait for the spring break – Which reminds me, I haven’t really cleaned since last spring!
• Spend some more time at home – Hmmm… the less said the better.
• Not kill myself at work – So far so good! Not a single late night this new year!
• Be nice to people! – Hmmm… never mind!
• Save money – I don’t have a choice but to do this!
• Control my temper – I have to do this…

Sigh… some things are just destined to remain undone. ;)